Do you like this poem I wrote? Why or why not? And please don't make rude comments like the one I got. DETAILS?
Someone wrote: "I wont miss this poem" and "Are you a lesbian?"
Well here goes:
I miss you.
I miss you like a worm misses to read,
Or like a garden misses a weed.
I miss you like stars miss the sky,
Or like a nose misses an eye.
I miss you like a chair misses a rear,
Or like an eye misses a tear.
I miss you like red misses green,
Or like a pea misses a bean.
I miss you like black misses blue,
Or like a friend misses you.
I miss you like a stray misses a home,
Or like metro misses dome.
I miss you like a cloud misses the storm,
Or like a soldier is sworn.
Most importantly I miss you like a feather misses a crow,
And I miss you like you'll never know.
I miss you.
Here is my critique.
Okay, so it does rhyme, but a poem isn't all about rhymes. These comparisons just seem very odd and far apart. Maybe like reduce the focus on nature, or household objects, or outside objects. Metro? Dome? What is a dome? And what does metro have to do with a dome? Use more specific examples. Or like a soldier is sworn... what does that mean?
Remember, you can make a poem without rhymes. And be more specific so that the reader can relate to what you are talking about! Vague words are just that, unclear examples!
If you fix this up a bit, I'm sure it'll be a great poem. It has potential.
Items Recently Purchased From This Site:
HAWK Brake Pads Combo Fits 2007-2010 Saturn SKY, 2009 Saturn Sky Hydro Blue Rear Exhaust Fascia Valance 2.4 Single Exhaust Stock!, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 05 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 08 09 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 07 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 10 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 09 OEM SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 08 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 02 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 08 OEM SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 09 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 03 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 07 08 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 09 10 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 10 11 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, ACCORD REAR BUMPER SKY BLUE B521 PAINTED, MG9101 - Blue Sky Rear Window Truck Graphic Tint, BMW LICENSE PLATE FRAME Chrome Sky Blue Text E 1 3 5 6 7 X M Z Series Front Rear, Front Rear vinyl emblem overlay graphic sticker decal decals fit 2012 Kia Soul , Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Got Posi? tracking positive rear end racing car truck 12 bolt 10 T-SHIRT, Back Protector Rear Shell Clear Sky Blue for iPad 2, CAMRY REAR BUMPER SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 10 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 09 OEM SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 08 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 08 OEM SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 07 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 05 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 02 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2246, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2246, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2246, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2246, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2246, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2242, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2242, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2242, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2242, Koolart Mini New Rear Adult T-Shirt gift present 2242, Back Protector Rear Shell Clear Sky Blue for iPad 2, Back Protector Rear Shell Clear Sky Blue for iPad 2, CAMRY REAR BUMPER 08 09 SKY BLUE PEARL 8S4 PAINTED,
